So, here's a new one!
It's been a while since my last post but turns out I did a thing, and I won!
Aside from my somewhat over-enthusiastic reaction on ye olde Twitter, the win came at just the right moment. Truth is, I've been doubtful for a long while about my ability to write.
I started working on a pony story when I was nine. It was 4 sides of A4 and to this day I'm still waiting for Horse&Pony magazine to publish it.
The Windy Mill Farm series seemed to flow out quite naturally, and all but wrote themselves. They were all labours of love that I had to get out of my head and into the world, so I did.
Without shooting myself in the foot too much, my self-published books have always been a lone venture. The fear of what people would think and/or say stopped me from seeking advice. Most of all, the 'what if' anxieties reared their ugly heads.
'what if nobody likes it?'
'what if the stories are good, but I show it to the wrong people and they just don't get it?'
'what if, in all honesty, I'm no good at this after all? It's all I've ever wanted to be.'
First of all, that last one isn't sort of kind of exactly 100% true... I've wanted to be many things (showjumper, groom, horse whisperer, dancer, mechanic, florist, yoga teacher - the list goes on).
Despite that, the only thing that has ever stuck, that anyone has ever taken notice of and complimented me on, is my writing.
Since then, I've learned an awful lot more about writing, the industry and the amazing community that revolves around it all.
It turns out that all the lofty daydreams I had about what kind of writer I am, what I felt I could write, weren't wrong exactly - just misguided.
In short, (because I sense a rant-athon coming on and NOBODY deserves that on a Saturday) what I thought I should write isn't what I'm best at.
As a writer (I will fight to the death about that now because I AM A WRITER *clings onto link above for dear life as proof*) I urge everyone to battle the fears.
Write what you love rather than what you think you 'should'.
Write that amazing adult novel that's going to have everyone crying until their eyeballs pop!
Write that historical romance even if you think it's all been done. They've not seen you yet!
And this one is a personal one, because anxiety must be squished like a foot on a Lego block - Write that MG or YA story that'll hopefully make kids scream with laughter or cry with understanding, even if you think you're not funny or clever enough to make it work.
You never know, one day after decades (literally decades, I'm getting on a bit now) of feeling average, you might just win a competition.
So, that's my mush quota sorted for the next year!
In ongoing WIP news, where one project stalls another flourishes. I at least feel like my YA fantasy WIP is definitely striding onwards (sometimes even without me realising).
Alas, with university deadlines looming, I shall leave in peace those of you that are strange enough to have read this far! x